beautiful day for a suicide

The flowers awakening thanking the sun
The birds singing lullaby's to their young
The people are happy basking in the glow
What do I know? What do I know?
Internal storm, a war of emotion
I've lost the battle, no longer in motion
As the world slips by
I cannot cry, I dont know why.
The grassy fields call my name.
Amongst the the trees the birds the bees
I lay me down to sleep,
The forest weeps
The rabbits look on and think,
Its a beautiful day for a suicide.

officially frozen

so I finally saw frozen, it was an amazing movie with a great message. It was so much better then brave. I see a new obsession in my future... Haha so Anyways I wrote a new poem.
its actually about a Month old. So I figure ill put it here so I have it for later. As a matter of fact I'm going to post a few more of them so I don't lose them, lets face it no one reads this anyways but you know what? That's ok XD
I like talking to myself anyways,

My pain runs deep. Criss crossed under scars
In a fragile heart covered with vile black tar
The burden so heavy of all of this pain
My life it seems is simply in vain
I'd sleep for forever
So tempting it seems
To never wake up?  continuous dreams
I take a pill to ease my will
Yet never enough is it still
I'm rushing around while your standing in place
I wish I could stop without help from an embrace.
The pill I took is kicking in reality is wearing thin
Comforting yes lonely indeed, is it so bad that numbing I need?
I wear a mask
To cover my face
Underneath I'm just a disgrace.
Save me
I'm drowning
Grasping for air
Lost in the darkness
Lost in dispair.

its a tad depressing, I know. But I was poet battling someone and I really liked what I wrote. Poetry is like music, you can tell all about someone by the music they listen to. "does this mean your suicidal depressed?" you may be wondering. Haha no. I'm just good at what I write about. Your thinking "then why did you even mention it??"..shut up imaginary reader. Its my blog. I'll write what I want!
stay tuned...im going to tell you the story of my mom. Its very personal though..so continue to be to not exist XD

irrational fears,

upon request..(hey I can make requests to myself) hear are they:
the dark
balloons
being abandoned..again
crocodiles
losing my hair
living past thirty
everyone being mad at me for things I cant control,
being forgotten

yes of all those your probably like ..."balloons really?" yes balloons. They could float away at any moment if your not careful! Its super stressful! And..WHAT ABOUT WHEN THEY POP! TO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME TO HANDLE! AHHHHHHH!

WELL back to reality now, I miss my appendix. It really never should have divorced me. How rude appendix how rude.
so I'm still not driving, and i still want to see frozen but no one will go with me XD tempted to go alone haha..wait that's a good idea!! To the theater!...... Yeah. I know. Dont even say it.