Decisions

How is it one can find what they need without even looking for it?
I sit here contemplating my coming wedding thinking maybe this isn't what I want. but my delimma is difficult because I think my heart was stolen. But unfortunately it's not an option. Talking over the phone I fell for you, but in person your just you. What do I do? I don't know or understand. I'm 25 yet still so young. I haven't figured out life yet. I wish I could take it all back. From the moment I realized I fell for you to the moment I realized I didn't love you anymore. But I can't. Instead I sit here waiting for the day that it's permanent and I'm stuck.
Because I'm just an endless cycle of heartbreak.
I fall in love I fall out I move on. And I'm tired of it.  But this time do I follow my heart even though I'm not attracted to the one who has it? Or do I stick with ol reliable?
To many decisions